“One year does go by quickly,” said an amazing paediatric registrar while reviewing my newborn in the hospital. I remember nodding politely, musing on her words, but inwardly, I couldn’t quite fathom them. The days and nights blurred together in an endless loop of feeding, burping, crying, and managing endless diaper changes.
Now, one year later, I understand.
The Privilege of Maternity Leave
Taking one year off medicine to begin my motherhood journey has been a blessing — and one in which I was unsure what it was going to look like, as I hadn’t done this before.
As a doctor, I was used to the endless race of continuous professional development, ticking off milestones and achievements: the next exam passed, preparations for ARCPs.
Suddenly, everything paused, and the only thing that truly mattered was soaking up the love and smiles my little human overwhelmed me with.
And yet, in the calmness, I found something infinitely more precious: time.
Time to live moment by moment.
Time to savour a new season.
Time to discover and enjoy a new "me".
Time to see my baby's first smile, hear his first giggle, witness his first wobbly steps.
Time to simply be "Mummy."
Guess what? Time found the perfect person to come to — because I LOVED IT ALL!
Initially, I had planned a shorter leave. However, when I realised my little one was arriving earlier than planned, I decided to take the full year to be fully present for him in the first year of his life.
More so, I wasn’t sure what life with a preterm baby was going to look like, so I knew I would need time to adjust to all the new life events going on at the time.
Recovery and the Reality of Postpartum Life
I wish our mothers shared a lot more about their motherhood journey — especially what comes after pregnancy.
A few days into the now well-talked-about “fourth trimester”, I was going through my journal and perusing the list of things I planned to do post-pregnancy… only to find that I included sleep in the list. I mean — SLEEP. That was obviously a huge joke because……..I suddenly found myself yearning for the days of straight eight hours of sleep. I didn’t get the memo guys!
So yeah, my fourth trimester was a huge shocker!
It was three months of an attempt at recovery — physical, emotional, and psychological.
Have I mentioned the struggles of initiating and establishing breastfeeding? I mean, I almost gave up.
When I was a young girl and would see older women breastfeeding, I always thought it was a seamless process.
Well, unbeknownst to me, the STRUGGLE IS REAL.
Mothers truly deserve to be celebrated daily. They are the true life heroes.
Journaling was therapeutic.
As I dragged my laptop to write this blog post, I read through my journal and realised how journaling has helped me process my emotions, celebrate my wins, and savour every moment in the last year.
If you are a new mum today, wallowing in the early postpartum trenches, one major advice I would give you is to cultivate the act of journaling.
It is so therapeutic and would you appreciate how far you’ve come down the line.
The Mental Load of Motherhood
Motherhood is a full-time job with a huge mental load burden. This was one of the biggest shockers for me.
It is a job where you do not clock off, with no real sick days and no annual leave.
It’s invisible labour.
It’s remembering every little thing and constantly being “on.”
This is why I think it’s a huge misconception that parents on parental leave are “enjoying.”
No, they are really working hard.
The workplace is just different.
However, it is a blessing.
Having a great support system really helped me survive the early postpartum period.
Redefinition of Personal Productivity
Before becoming a mum, I had full control of my productivity — did what I wanted to do when I wanted, rested when I felt like it.
Since becoming a mum, one of the things I struggled with was redefining my productivity. What does it look like for me now?
One of the most used apps on my phone is my reminder app. In the early postpartum phase, I realised although it was doing its actual job of reminding me to get tasks done, I wasn’t getting anything done.
Then I switched to alarms, which became more helpful down the line.
Productivity became getting things done while my baby napped — squeezing activities into a 2–3 hour window — because when little babies are awake, you literally cannot get any task done that requires your concentration.
I’m still on the journey of mastering my new productivity and redefining the systems that allow me to get things done, but the most important step is understanding that doing the actual job of mothering is not a waste of time.
You are being productive by being the best mum or parent you can be.
Did I hear you say….SUPERPOWERS?!
It only took me a few months into motherhood to realise that I had developed some superpowers: doing things with one hand, getting things done around the house faster than I ever imagined, caring for a whole human.
Call it a mother’s instinct.
Even patience!
My boy teaches me this every day.
Motherhood equips one with many life skills such as problem-solving, multitasking, time management, emotional intelligence, amongst others.
I believe these skills can also be transferred to the workplace.
Identity Shifts and the Phases of Motherhood
Identity crisis — that’s you I’m talking about next.
At the beginning of my maternity leave, there were episodes of identity crises.
Being in the constant routine of caring for a newborn meant that I easily forgot my old routine of working as a doctor.
One thing that helped me was realising that being “Mummy” was a full-time job, and that this was solely my job now — so there was no cause for guilt about being away from medicine or regarding my career progression.
There were phases where I had to re-evaluate things to see if I was ready to go back to doing the things I used to love: rejoining book clubs, hosting the Excellence in Medicine Ladies Network Career Hub’s hangout, and posting online.
Was I still the same person who loved doing those things?
The truth is, I’m learning that identity after motherhood is fluid — constantly evolving and reshaping itself. New mums need patience with themselves to evolve into their new selves.
Conclusion
Now, I understand what that registrar meant.
One year does go by quickly — but more than that, a lot can happen in a year.
The past year has been a privilege and has given me and my family profound joy.
It has stretched and rebuilt me.
As I look forward to returning to medicine, I do not know what that would look like yet, but I know I am returning changed and stronger.
Watch out for more blog posts on the activities I got to do during my maternity leave and how you can maximise your leave if you are planning one soon.
Did any of my thoughts in this post resonate with you? Please let me know in the comments.
Till next time,
Yours,
Dr. Aarin — your favourite doctor mum
