Unplanned but Unforgettable: My Journey Through Preterm Birth

Hi Friends! 💜

Today’s blog post is one so dear to my heart. I’m sharing this in commemoration of World Prematurity Day, a day I didn’t even know existed until I had an unplanned early birth.

Before I dive into my story, I want to share something I realized while preparing my content for World Prematurity Day. Why do we set aside days or months to celebrate certain demographics or issues in our society?

Here’s my conclusion:

• To tell people going through certain issues that they are SEEN.

• To educate the public on sensitive topics and issues.

• And, where applicable, to fundraise and offer support for those affected.

My Story

This time last year, my very pregnant and sick self could never have imagined sitting by a table today, typing a blog post for World Prematurity Day. But you know what they say: When life throws you lemons, you make lemonade.

My pregnancy was not without its challenges. I shared on my Instagram how my quality of life was deeply affected during that time—it wasn’t the best of days for me. As hard as it was, I was still determined to carry my baby to term.

But things didn’t quite go as planned or expected.

When Plans Change

Birth experiences are unpredictable. Some women have planned births, while others don’t.

For me, it all started at a routine ultrasound appointment at 35 weeks. I went in to monitor my cute bump, but it ended with the obstetrician saying:

“Aarinola, I will have to admit you for a C-section in two days.”

It wasn’t the news I wanted to hear as you would imagine.

The whole nine months (or ten, if you count properly) felt like a marathon I had to complete. In my mind, I was supposed to finish strong and get that “Well done, my faithful servant” certificate.

So hearing that it would all end unexpectedly was not what I wanted.

Facing the Unknown

As a doctor, my mind raced with questions:

• Would my baby need neonatal care?

• For how long?

• What challenges would we face?

After the initial shock, my husband and I replaced our emotions with gratitude for the gift of our child. We wrote letters to our baby to celebrate the end of our pregnancy journey, took photos, and called close family and friends to pray for us.

Preparing for the Unexpected

If you’re wondering about the hospital bags—yes, they weren’t fully packed at this point! Thankfully, I had roughly packed a few items before the ultrasound, so my husband only had to finish the job.

I was admitted, given steroids over 48 hours, and prepped for the big day.

The day before the surgery, a nurse took us to the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) to help us prepare. We had all our questions answered, met the staff, and it really helped calm our nerves leading up to our baby’s arrival.

D-day

The day finally came! The moment I heard my baby cry—the little one who made me a mother—I wept with joy and gratitude. It was surreal.

Later that day, I was taken to see my baby. It was definitely love at first sight. I held him skin-to-skin, and his assigned nurse explained his care plan and what to expect moving forward.

The Mental Toll of Having a Baby in Neonatal Care

Neonatal care has different levels depending on the baby’s needs. My baby only required special care in the SCBU, so I can only speak from that perspective.

The days after his birth were emotionally challenging. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions (blame it partly on hormonal fluctuations if you may):

• Guilt: Wondering what I could have done to prevent a premature birth.

• Anxiety: As a doctor who now happens to be on the other side of the divide, one of my major fears was hospital-acquired infections.

Bear in mind that I had just had a major surgery and should also be focusing on recovery.

Even though the hospital staff were amazing and made us feel at ‘home’, there were days I wished the narrative was simpler: I had my baby and went straight home.

But that wasn’t our reality, so we had to face it.

How We Coped

1. Expressing Emotions

When it comes to unexpected turns in life, I’ve learnt not to bottle up my feelings. There’s nothing wrong with letting yourself feel—it’s part of the healing process.

2. Our Christian Faith

Our faith as Christians gave us incredible and incomparable peace. We held onto the promise that “all things work together for our good” and trusted that God was with us every step of the way.

3. Support System

Talking to close family and friends via FaceTime helped immensely.

4. Hospital Support

The nursing and medical staff were fantastic. I particularly enjoyed the little chats here and there with the nursing team. They supported us through breastfeeding challenges, and even provided opportunity to room-in with our baby to bond as a family. We were also given some helpful resources and heartfelt messages from charity organizations like Bliss UK and Leo’s.

My experience as a patient made me truly appreciate what we do as healthcare professionals, for which I’m truly grateful.

5. Journaling

I’m very big on journaling. As you would expect, I raced to Amazon and got myself a journal to document every milestone, and how I was feeling at the time because I just didn’t want to forget. Journaling is a powerful tool for reflection and it did just that for me during such a crucial time.

Two Homecomings

The part no one anticipates:

When the mother is discharged but goes home without the baby.

I made sure to document the day I was discharged, feeling grateful for how far we had come. Every milestone deserves to be celebrated, no matter how small.

A Message to Families

If you’re facing a premature birth, I know how hard it can be. Please know:

• You are not alone.

• There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

• Keep hope alive.

Big hugs from me.

Till next time,

With love,

Aarin 💜